一個紐約女人的約會故事

I Was Warned

有人警告我 - 不要再跟他在一起了

It’s the dating story I tell most often: It was a few years ago and I’d been going out on dates 3, 4, sometimes even 5 nights a week for months and yet somehow no one seemed to make it past the 3rd or 4th date. And I wasn’t being picky. Really, I wasn’t.
以下是我經常樂道的約會故事：幾年前，我經常出去約會，一週總有三四晚，甚至有時還會五個晚上都有約會，這種生活持續了好些月，但是，卻從來沒有跟同一個人約會超過三或四次。我並不是個很挑剔的女人，真的，我絕對不是。

A friend from work came up to me in the hall and asked me how my date was last night. It was a running joke. There was always a date last night.
直到有一天，一個朋友在公司大廳裡走向我，小聲又故作神秘地問我："昨晚的約會怎麼樣？"這種笑話每天都會發生，因為她知道我每晚都有約會。

I told her that is was great, actually. He was smart, attractive, fun, we had lots to talk about and plenty of chemistry. The only thing was, I’d never be able to trust him. She gave me an odd look and I explained that he was an obvious womanizer, I could smell it on him (He did have the best line I’d ever heard, “I want to fall in love again”. I nearly fell off my barstool.)
我告訴她，昨晚的約會真的很棒，那個男的聰明又迷人，也會搞笑，我們有一大堆話可說，彼此都覺得很來電，只是，我始終感到我沒辦法相信他。我的朋友露出了個古怪又不解的表情，於是我解釋說，"我想，他一定是個獵豔高手，我可以從他身上嗅到這種味道。"在我跟他約會時，他說出了我最想聽的話 - "我很想再愛一次"，當時，我幾乎從吧檯的高腳椅上摔下來。

So she said, too bad, I guess you won’t be seeing him again. The logical conclusion. And I told her, no, I probably would. And I did.
我的朋友說，"那真糟糕，我想妳不會再跟他約會了吧。"這是一個很合乎邏輯的結論。我告訴她，"不，我想我還會。"確實，我的確還跟他繼續約會。

He and I dated for months. It was a disaster. A predictable disaster. What possessed me? I knew, from the first date, what he was. I knew he was lying to me when he said he wanted a relationship. I knew he was lying to me all of the time.
他跟我又約會好幾個月，但是，這些約會真是災難，而且是可以預想得到的災難。究景為什麼我會這樣失魂似地跟他繼續約會？我知道，那是因為，從第一個約會起時，我就喜歡上了他。我知道，他想要找回愛情是個謊言，我也知道，在那些約會中，他不斷地向我說謊。

Well, in my defense, if I have any at all, is that I wanted so desperately for it to be true that I was willing to suspend my disbelief and play along. At least for a little while. Until it became too painful. Until his lies became too blatant and too frequent and I couldn’t play along anymore without losing the last bit of my self respect.
我想，我給自己這種愚蠢的執著的解釋是，在潛意識裡，我太過渴望能有一段戀情，因此我寧願暫時擱下我對他的不信任，而與他一起起舞，哪怕這支舞曲是多麼短暫，直到這支舞變得太痛苦，他的謊言變得太多太顯眼，而我如果不停下來的話，會失去我最後一絲僅有的自尊。

即便是停經了，許多女人仍渴望享受魚水之歡

A new study from the Women’s Health Initiative has found that, contrary to popular belief, older women are generally satisfied with their sex lives -- and if they do have a problem, it’s because they’d like to be having more sex. 
在美國"女性健康創見"雜誌最近進行的一項調查中發現，老女人普遍對她們的性生活頗為滿意，這項調查結果與一般人的想法恰巧相反，該調查報告相信，這可能是因為老女人們希望有多一點的性生活，因此，一旦有性生活時，她們普遍都會相當滿意。 


The study, released this month and featured in the Menopause journal, asked 27,347 women aged 50 to 79 a series of questions about how they perceive sexual activity and their own sex lives. Results from the study indicated sexual activity among 50 to 59-, 60 to 69-, and 70 to 79-year-old age groups to be 60.7 percent, 44.9 percent and 28.2 percent, respectively. 
這份調查報告係本月由"停經"期刊所發佈，在這項調查中，總共徵詢了27,347名50歲到79歲間的婦女，調查她們對對性生活的看法及她們目前性生活的狀態。調查結果顯示，年齡在50-59歲間的婦女，性生活的比例為60.7%；年齡在60-69歲間的婦女，性生活的比例為44.9%；年齡在70-79歲間的婦女，性生活的比例則為28.2%。 


Most of the study’s participants were satisfied with their current sex lives (63.2 percent). Of those dissatisfied, 57 percent responded that they would like to be having more sex, not less. The most common reasons sited by participants who said they were not sexually active were poor health, depression and loss of a partner. 
63.2%的受訪者都對目前的性生活滿意，在不滿意的受訪者中，有57%認為，她們希望有更多的性生活，而並非如一般人所想的更少，而無法獲得滿意的性生活的普遍原因是：健康不佳、憂鬱與失去性伴侶。 


 “This is the first study that indicates that [older] women would actually like to have more sex,” Gisele Wolf-Klein, MD, director of geriatric education at the North Shore-LIJ Health System in New Hyde Park, N.Y., told WebMD. Though she was not involved in the study, she went on to note, “We know sexual activity decreases with age, and we do attribute that to lack of a partner, but we thought that women were kind of happy with this. That it didn’t represent a major problem. Well, that does not seem to be the case." 
"這是第一次有研究報告顯示，老女人其實也希望有更多的性生活，"紐約州新海德公園北海岸健康系統的老年病教育中心主任吉斯利‧凱倫博士說。雖然，她本人並未親自參加這項調查，但是她指出，"我們知道性活動會隨著年齡的增加而降低，但是，那多半是由於缺乏性伴侶所造成，基本上，女人對性活動仍是有興趣的，老女人並非沒有能力從事性活動。 


The study disproves long-held assumptions in the medical and business communities about older women’s sexual activity and desires -– assumptions that have motivated market trends and an influx of products aimed at improving women’s sex lives. The study confirmed that a decrease in hormone levels related to menopause does not necessarily impinge on a women’s ability to maintain a healthy sex life. 
這項研究報告否定了長久以來醫學界與商業界對於老女人性活動與性欲的假定，而此一假定創造了一個改善女人的性生活的市場，同時更催生了一系列的相關產品。這項研究報告同時也確認了一個事實：雖然女人停經後，體內的女性賀爾蒙量會下降，但是，這不一定會影響女人從事性活動的能力。